The 9 Laws of Project Management (humor)

• If at first, you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
• Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.
• For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.
• Two wrongs are only the beginning.
• The sooner you fall behind, the more time you’ll have to catch up. (Project Management at its best)
• No one is listening until you make a mistake.
• Success always occurs in private, and failure in full view.
• To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

And finally

• If at first, you don’t succeed, delegate it.